Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to find a taint.

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  (724): I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between. (1-724): You need to find a taint. http://tfl.nu/752x
  Replies (24) Good night (2580) Bad night (667)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.

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  (319): he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me. http://tfl.nu/lhdj
  Replies (53) Good night (980) Bad night (4430)
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  (562): View more from California

  I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.

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  (562): I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day. http://tfl.nu/v32p
  Replies (10) Good night (1102) Bad night (4516)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.

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  (706): She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be. http://tfl.nu/hcpi
  Replies (14) Good night (1135) Bad night (3450)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room

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  (203): but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room http://tfl.nu/z6gy
  Replies (5) Good night (705) Bad night (3209)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.

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  (262): I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old. http://tfl.nu/6kgo
  Replies (8) Good night (3690) Bad night (1129)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.

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  (248): he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg. http://tfl.nu/hgt4
  Replies (24) Good night (1209) Bad night (4933)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.

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  (905): Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well. http://tfl.nu/5evy
  Replies (4) Good night (1246) Bad night (525)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself

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  (706): I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself http://tfl.nu/6gni
  Replies (15) Good night (1402) Bad night (493)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.

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  (734): The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use. http://tfl.nu/kozs
  Replies (7) Good night (1156) Bad night (494)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that

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  (780): Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that http://tfl.nu/j30v
  Replies (5) Good night (851) Bad night (471)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.

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  (218): I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara. http://tfl.nu/7g4h
  Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (564)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.

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  (912): But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate. http://tfl.nu/0oig
  Replies (4) Good night (620) Bad night (225)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.

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  (859): Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested. http://tfl.nu/b8k3
  Replies (8) Good night (767) Bad night (406)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.

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  (540): Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today. http://tfl.nu/qos3
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (434)

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