I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.