dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders