That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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