So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing