I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Houston, we have a blender
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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