I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize