Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
