I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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