Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize