if you like me you must not know who I am
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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