Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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