i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's never too late to be topless.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
