That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
