Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
