she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
