dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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