i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
