What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
