we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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