So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Im part way to drunk.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
