I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
