not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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