you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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