so explain again why im purple
no
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
