I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Randomize