I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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