Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
