No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
