thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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