so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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