He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
