Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
