Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
