forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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