I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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