well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
