Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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