I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have feelings that need drinking.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
