I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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