I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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