You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
