Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
