i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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