are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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