Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
