just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize