Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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