I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
