1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
