I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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