We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My life is pants optional.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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