I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
