your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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