After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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