I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
