I look better un-naked...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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