Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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