I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
NoShamevember. You game?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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