Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.