i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season