Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
