If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
