her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
