the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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