just tell him i said nine months
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
