You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm passing your future prison.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
