I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
