FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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